We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
