That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
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He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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