Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
