I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
