I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
