What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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