I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
