Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
