Non-Jews are for practice
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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