I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize