so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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