Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
