Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
