id be glad to
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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