Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We have started to decorate penises.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
