maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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