people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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