Don't you send me to vm
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
