your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
