Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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