i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
