dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
