i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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