doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
