Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
