I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
