actually, I'm a sock model
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
