just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
