Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
