u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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