I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
