If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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