did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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