she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
