am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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