i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize