after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
