Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
