I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
