I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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