I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
