so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
pop tarts are not kleenex
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
