at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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