I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
