3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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