I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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