the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
