i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
