You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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