He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
