Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
