why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize