I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
