Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i drank out of a bidet.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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