The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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