My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
