You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
