yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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