That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
