Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
it's great music for shaving your balls
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
