I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
