Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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