Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so let's talk penis.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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