16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
