So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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