Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
