I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
